Bahasa ..
satu hal yang cukup sulit ditentukan dalam sebuah keluarga dengan banyak latar belakang budaya, adalah .. penggunaan bahasa. ini pengamatan, sekaligus pengalaman pribadi. boleh setuju, boleh tidak.keluarga saya berasal dari cukup banyak latar belakang budaya. orang tua Papa adalah warga campuran jerman dan rusia. Papa sendiri lahir di jerman, sehingga bahasa dominan yang dipakai adalah bahasa jerman. Mama saya jelas-jelas orang Yogya. dan bukannya sombong .. keturunan ningrat pula. pheeew .. bukannya bangga, saya malah sedih. karena itu berarti seharusnya saya dapat berbahasa jawa. tetapi kenyataannya, saya tidak bisa :( dalam turunan darahnya, Mama pernah cerita, ada eyang kami yang berdarah Belanda, dan Mama masih fasih berbahasa Belanda -- selain bahasa Indonesia dan bahasa jawa.
Kris, my bro, lahir dan besar di eropa. sampai saat ini dia lebih banyak menghabiskan hidupnya dengan bersekolah di jerman. itu sebabnya, dia mengenal bahasa-bahasa rumpun eropa terlebih dahulu. jerman, prancis, baru kemudian english dan bahasa indonesia. saya lahir beberapa tahun kemudian di semarang. maka jelas, saya lebih mengenal bahasa indonesia sebagai bahasa ibu pertama. my lil sista, devil, lahir beberapa tahun kemudian di australia. sama seperti Kris, devil lebih banyak menghabiskan waktunya dengan bersekolah di luar, di australia. wajar baginya, jika bahasa inggris dengan slank australia menjadi kental di mulutnya.
jadi, bisa dibilang .. hanya Mama dan saya lah penduduk asli indonesia. hahaha ..
dan kami mengalami kesulitan menentukan bahasa yang kami pakai sehari-hari di rumah. papa dan kris terbiasa bercakap-cakap dalam bahasa jerman. devil dan pacarnya lebih sering bicara dengan inggris aksen australia (yang menyebalkan itu). pak Dam dan bi Annissa menggunakan bahasa jawa halus. waktu Mama di sini, hanya saya dan Mama yang menggunakan bahasa indonesia. Mama berbicara dengan pak Dam dan bi Nissa juga dengan bahasa jawa. Mama bicara dengan Papa dengan bahasa indonesia dan belanda-nya. sementara saya? .. waktu kecil saya terlalu sukar mengerti bahasa-bahasa tersebut, dan saya memutuskan untuk tidak banyak berbicara saja. mungkin itulah sebabnya, sampai saat ini pun saya tidak banyak berbicara pada orang lain..
sewaktu bersekolah, boleh percaya boleh tidak, saya mendapat kesulitan yang amat sangat dalam pelajaran bahasa inggris(!) nilai saya tidak pernah lebih dari 7. nilai 7 itu pun adalah nilai tertinggi yang pernah saya dapat sampai saya lulus SMP. devil tidak pernah bersekolah di indonesia, jadi dia tidak pernah tau betapa sulitnya belajar bahasa asing jika bahasa pertama kita sudah terlalu melekat. tapi devil mulai banyak membantu saya pada saat summer holiday dan membuat saya mampu mengikuti pelajaran bahasa inggris di SMU. minimal, nilai ulangan saya tidak pernah merah lagi dan nilai tertinggi yang saya capai adalah 10 sempurna. *senang*
sejak saya bisa berbahasa inggris, saya bertekat untuk terus memperdalam ilmu bahasa, karena saya menemukan banyak hal yang menarik jika kita mengetahui banyak bahasa. kris mulai mengajari saya bahasa jerman dan prancis. Mama mengajari saya bahasa Jawa dan belanda. walaupun tidak terlalu fasih, tapi minimal saya mengerti dan menjadi responden pasif terhadap bahasa-bahasa tersebut. maksudnya, saya mengerti arti suatu kata atau kalimat dalam bahasa asing tertentu, tapi belum tentu saya bisa membuat respons balasan untuk bahasa-bahasa tersebut.
ketika saya lulus sarjana, Papa menyarankan saya untuk mengambil kuliah di luar. tentu saja, kendala bahasa membuat saya sempat merasa enggan. tapi sekali lagi, berkat bantuan dan dukungan devil, saya akhirnya bisa memilih satu kampus dengan bahasa pengantar yang umum: bahasa inggris. dan di mana lagi kalau bukan di .. australia! (hahaha) negara dengan bahasa inggris dengan aksen lucu yang menyebalkan .. akhirnya toh saya kuliah di sana selama 3 tahun penuh. dalam desertasi saya, sang pembimbing bahasa sangat menyanjung tulisan saya. dia bilang, seakan bahasa inggris (dengan berbagai tingkat permasalahan vocabulary-nya) adalah bahasa lahir saya. hmm, .. andai dia tau yang sebenarnya .. *senyum nakal*
sekarang,
jika saya lebih senang menulis blog dalam bahasa asing, itu tak lain dan tak bukan hanyalah sekedar apresiasi saya terhadap trauma masa lalu saya saja. tidak ada maksud lain. dengan menghadapi sebanyak mungkin ketakutan saya, saya berharap saya bisa mengatasinya. hasilnya?.. memang cukup berhasil, menurut saya.
lalu, beberapa teman (tidak banyak, memang) -- yang tau dan membaca blog saya -- mulai berkomentar banyak hal. mereka bilang, penggunaan bahasa inggris saya aneh. dan kacau. dan sama sekali bukan saya. maksudnya, mereka lebih setuju bila saya tetap menggunakan bahasa indonesia seperti sehari-hari, karena lebih lugas dan .. konyol (sial!). mereka bilang, ke"konyol"an saya tidak terlalu tampak jika saya menulis dalam bahasa inggris. well, .. what can i say? beda bahasa ya jelas beda persepsi dalam perspektif apapun melihatnya.
nah, jika saya bertanya ke kamu -- yang sedang membaca blog ini -- maukah kamu menjawab pertanyaan saya? pertanyaannya mudah saja: kamu lebih suka yang mana .. (a) menggunakan bahasa sehari-hari, atau (b) menggunakan bahasa asing untuk terus melatih diri? pertanyaan kedua: kamu punya preferensi seperti apa .. (a) saya menulis blog dalam bahasa indonesia seperti ini, atau (b) saya menulis dalam bahasa apapun yang standar baku -- misalnya dengan bahasa inggris?
silakan menjawab di komen boks, atau melalui email ke vampirella@softhome.net
saya mungkin tidak terlalu cepat dalam mereply mail, tapi saya membaca semua mail yang masuk. saya masih banyak pertanyaan lainnya jika kamu bersedia saya tanya. tapi melalui email. bukan di sini :)
okay,
berbicara soal penggunaan bahasa ..
sekarang saya sedang bingung luar biasa.
minggu depan, saya HARUS menyampaikan suatu seminar di suatu tempat yang sebagian besar pesertanya TIDAK mengerti bahasa inggris (apalagi bahasa indonesia dan bahasa jawa) sebagai bahasa pengantar. duh, saya jadi bingung tujuh keliling. apa jadinya jika seminar ini tidak dimengerti oleh mereka? apa jadinya jika saya tidak mengerti apa yang mereka keluhkan? ..
ada yang bisa memberi ide bagaimana menyelesaikan masalah ini?
haruskah saya berbicara dalam "bahasa tubuh"? :D
atau bahasa tarzan? ..
mmm ..
omong-omong tentang "bahasa tarzan" .. lihat, saya punya sebuah pengumuman penting. (tolong disiapkan quicktime player atau windows media player terbaru dan jangan lupa menyalakan speaker keras-keras).
bagaimana jika saya berbicara seperti ini saja, ya? :p
[updated: sorry, since sept 1, 2003, this link is permanently closed]
me? .. no english, sir. no, no. nek ngono yo rasah ngendikan sisan..
ha..ha..ha..
posted by me at 12:35 AM
Dear ..
Dear Friends,Some of you may have been wondering what I have recently been doing. Well, the wondering is over. Been very, very busy lately with this and that and some more those crappy, unrealistic, unimportant stuffs. I don't mind at all, actually. I figure I could skip some days off next week and going to go to heaven, if there's any plane with that direction. Well, I hope there is..
Oh, and this evening, I got a phone call which telling me that I have to go to this place (I don't think mention that place is important, .. so I skip the name) to give another 2-full-hours of speech. What can I complain about? Oh, nothing really. One day I think I'll get paid for what I've done now. That's good guys, that's real good.
***
Dear Internet,
Recently I have only been on you for about a minute every two weeks. I'm sorry that we are slowly drifting apart, but I think that this space could quite possibly benefit us both in the long run. Please try to be open minded when I say that I need this. I'll be better from this. I promise.
***
Dear Padi,
I really really wish that you guys would come play somewhere close to me so that I could watch your beautiful music come to life. If I don't see you before you dissapear, I will be sad. Please keep these things in mind while planning your next tour, whenever it may be.
***
Dear Blues, Valent, darilangit, AnarchyBoyz, and MJ Man,
Incase you are reading this and I haven't replied your emails yet, please consider that this is a reply to your each and every email(s). Next time, please send me some money instead of just ordinary email, will you? Thank you.
err.. if by any chance you can not send me any money, at least you can send me something I can eat. A good guy, for instance .. Oh sure, I'm good at eating good guys!
***
Dear Kris,
I've watched that movie 4 times and really paid attention very damn well and I can only count exactly 378 the f* word and nothing less. And that's quite annoying for a 48-minutes-only movie -- which means at approximately every 7 seconds you'd hear the f* word. Don't they have other vocabularies?
But anyways,..
that means that I win, and you lose, and you owe me a visit on Christmas. Can you please send me another movie and betting for your visit NEXT MONTH?
***
Dear Mosquitoes,
Please stay away from my legs. I really don't like the itching feeling that has been going on lately. If I see one of you little things again, i'll be forced to take action. And by action, I mean killing you.
***
Dear Bed,
You know how I love you very much. I will come to you and rest with you as soon as these things done. Please be nice now and don't tease me the way you did. If you good enough, I promise I will sleep with you as long as you want and I will do anything you ask me to. Even I will bend any style you want and please you with my long deep breath. You'll be my mistress and I'll be your slave. Isn't that interesting?
Now, behave .. I will join you in a moment. Do not tease me again now.
***
Dear Life,
Will you be nice to me tomorrow?
***
Dear God,
...
...
...
Amen.
posted by me at 2:10 AM
Pics from August 17
today, i take (another) a day off to prepare Pak Dam's welcoming Party. hope his flight would not be delayed. we invite all his families and relatives we can think off. and now we have a full house again. amazing..last nite i went to bowling center again, to try my luck. well .. what can i say. it was just beginner's luck, everybody! because last nite, no matter how hard i try, i could only score between 76 - 98. oh, okay. nevermind.. i never really like it anyway. it's just only for fun.
dev's bf took lots of pics and he's so kind to let me put some of his pics here. these are the pics from August 17 and last nite. enjoy..
[thank you, good fella!]
posted by me at 10:34 AM
Today
Happy Birthday, Pak Dam!!today his 58th birthday. i wish he called. but since he's not, then i write here instead. HAPPY 58th BIRTHDAY, Pak Dam.
today, i:
1. felt better.
2. watch "Matrix: Reloaded" for the 2nd time.
3. eat 5 pieces of d'Creepes (or .. was it 7?)
4. won 1 out of 5 games *hooraaaay..*
5. went bowling -- while i did not know how to play it before. i scored 135, and i didn't know whether is it good or not, but the unstopable applause makes me sure that i did a great game. so .. i did. thank you :)
devil made a game: putting back a litre of "coke" from a plate to its bottle. and instead of putting it back, i drank half of it. more than 500cc of it. and now my stomach feel strange again.
can the worms inside your stomach swim in coke?..
ah .. no, i don't think so.
[so .. what's the ticklish i felt in my stomach since this evening, then?]
anyway,
Happy Independence Day, everyone.
sekali merdeka .. tetap merdeka!
:)
posted by me at 11:10 PM
The Survivor is Thanking You ..
i went to the doctor, and guess what he told me ..
guess what he told me? ..
he said: "girl, you better go to bed and have some fun.. no matter what you do"
but he's a fool ..
"Nothing Compares To You" -- Sinnead O'Connor
hey, you ..
thank you.
it was a wonderful "absent letter" you wrote there, and i won't erase it. thank you.
so, .. here's the news:
i went home. i'm home. i'm still weak, of course, but i'm home. i'm the queen of this house. again. at last. yes, i'm the survivor :)
i think i ate too many junkfoods. 20 different kinds of foods went into my mouth few weeks ago, and the next thing i knew, i had a scratch inside my stomach. it hurts. it really really hurts. i swear i won't be that greedy again anymore. i swear. (anyway, i only enjoyed sate madura, and pecel lele, and siomay bandung, and pempek, and gado-gado, and .. sate madura. oh, i repeat that "sate madura". okay. i guess i only enjoyed those.)
and speaking of "sate madura" ..
Pak Dam called me this evening, just to check on my condition. oh how sweet. and he also asked me what do i want. as souvenirs, he means. blah! forget the souvenirs. just go home quickly. that's all i want. :D and he said, he'll be coming back around 20th of august. oh, well. have fun there, Pak Dam! and don't call again! it's just wasting your money! you'd better buy something for Bik Anissah, do you hear! *grin*
and speaking of Bik Anissah ..
she's so kind to blend me almost anything so i always have juices of any fruits i want. thank you, Bik Annissah. (fruits won't hurt. trust me!)
and speaking of "Thank You" ..
- i would like to thank -- deeply thanks -- to dr. Theo, dr. Wilma, Zr. Unie, Zr. Tita and Zr. Rani for taking good care of spoiled me. Thank You. you're adorable. and again, to Bik Annisah. to devil and her bf -- which i'm NOT allowed to say even a bit of his name, well, okay. (hellow you, Mr. Tom) *grin* -- who are very, very nice keeping me accompanied while i'm at the hospital.
- thank you and sorry for darilangit. (thank you for caring, and sorry that i was sleeping when you came to see me the other day). thanks to Nisty -- the patient sharing the room with me -- and her family. you are so nice, guys.
- thank you for deans and some students who came while i'm in the operating room. i got your chocolates, thank you. it was real nice. the chocolate, i mean. hahaha .. no. i was kidding. YOU were all real nice. :)
- thank you for Saftari, Dennis, Iwan, Mellanie and Imelda for your emails. and for the few people who commented in my commentbox wishing me well and stuffs and so on. (i didn't open all commentboxes, i'll do it soon enough. i promise). it was really nice. thank you all.
and speaking of emails ..
i have new email address, haven't you notice? it's vampirella@softhome.net !! :) i hope i'll be better enough replying all emails now. *finger crossed* :D
and speaking of better ..
i think i'd better go back to bed now -- like the doctor ordered -- .. because when somebody sees me sitting on my desk, in this late hour, doing something i shouldn't -- like posting a new post -- then i'll be in a very bad bad bad trouble.
and speaking of bed ..
i love this new sheets. it's light purple and bright yellow and full of cupids and hearts. i feel like i'm in the middle of love wars. :D
and speaking of love ..
i think someone is falling in love right now. aren't you? oh, c'moooon!! .. admit it!! admit it!! ahahaha .. *i love it when he's blushing pink and blue* :)
and speaking of blushing pink ..
i think my cheek is also blushing pink. it's because i'm very tired and sleepy. so, i'd better kiss you all good nite, and say hellow to my new sheets. "hellow, sheets" *yawning*
thank you. thank you.
i'm back and i'm alive.
i am the survivor of this tremendous game called "sickness".
i am the survivor.
i am glad.
i am proud of it.
oh, how lovely.
posted by me at 2:51 AM
The Latest News
Dearest Readers ..On her behalf, with her consent and permission, I would like to tell you the latest not-so-good news ..
Ms. Maharani-Hertzel, that vampirella, probably would not be able to write her entries in this blog for a long undetermined times, due to her illness. She is now under heavy special treatment. Doctors said, she suffered internal abnormal digestion system (pardon me for my lacking knowledge of medical terms) which result in her poor ability to digest food.
Therefore, she would probably not be able to write any new entries any time sooner. And meanwhile, enjoy her previous writings and please do not leave any comment(s) on this entry, as it might be erased after she's back online. [You can leave your comment(s) or wish(es) on her previous entry, dated: Saturday, August 9, 2003, below this one]
That's the news for today.
Reporting live from her side,
[darilangit]
(now you, .. go back to sleep, and get well soon dear)
posted by me at 11:48 AM
Failure is NOT the end of the life ..
[posting kali ini banyak saya tulis dengan bahasa indonesia, untuk menjaga orisinalitas pemikiran yang kami perbincangkan semalam. lagipula, dia tidak terlalu suka jika saya menulis dalam bahasa asing.]yes, you.. You know exactly who i meant. this one is for you. :)
gagal a 1 tidak berhasil; tidak tercapai (maksudnya): 2 tidak jadi:
kegagalan perihal gagal; ketidakberhasilan:
---Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia, 1990, hal. 248
gagal sering menjadi momok. kegagalan sering menjadi faktor pelemah, pemundur semangat, bahkan menjadi akhir yang tragis dalam banyak cerita yang banyak kita dengar atau kita temui. seperti kisahmu yang kau jabarkan malam itu..
saya mengerti. saya mengerti sepenuhnya mengapa kegagalan menjadi jegalan yang sangat menyakitkan. tapi, hidup kita tidak berhenti di satu kegagalan itu, sayang.
hidup kita terdiri dari banyak rencana, banyak jalan, banyak tujuan yang harus kita tempuh, kita capai. kegagalan hanyalah salah satu cara untuk melihat lebih banyak lagi kemungkinan-kemungkinan jalan lain yang belum kita perhitungkan, belum sempat kita tempuh. kalau kita gagal, BUKAN berarti hidup kita gagal!
failure is NEVER an option.
ketika kita merencanakan suatu tujuan, suatu cita-cita, kita tidak pernah mencanangkan "gagal" sebagai akhir, bukan? kita membuat rencana. kita menjalankannya. dan dalam proses tersebut, kita bisa gagal. terjadi begitu saja. kita mengalami kegagalan. tapi itu bukan rencana kita, bukan? gagal tak pernah dengan sengaja ingin kita capai, bukan?
failure is NEVER a perfect whole.
kalau kita gagal dalam pelajaran, apakah berarti hidup kita gagal? tidak! kita HANYA gagal dalam hal studi kita. itu saja. kalau kita gagal dalam percintaan, apakah berarti hidup kita gagal? tidak! kita HANYA gagal dalam hal percintaan kita. itu saja. kalau kita gagal dalam perkawinan, apakah berarti hidup kita gagal? tidak! kita HANYA gagal dalam hal perkawinan kita. itu saja. kalau kita gagal dalam karier, apakah berarti hidup kita gagal? tidak! kita HANYA gagal dalam hal perkawinan kita. itu saja.
did you get the point?
hidup kita terdiri dari terlalu banyak kegiatan yang dapat kita sebutkan satu-per-satu. dan jika di antaranya kita mengalami kegagalan, maka HANYA hal-hal tersebutlah yang gagal. BUKAN hidup kita. we're NOT a loser just because we failed.
bayangkanlah tubuhmu.
jika jarimu tergores pisau, apakah hidupmu berakhir karenanya? tidak, bukan? kita bisa mengobatinya. jika kakimu tersandung dan terluka, apakah hidupmu berakhir karenanya? tidak, bukan? kita bisa mengobatinya. bahkan ketika kamu terkena ledakan sebuah bom, dan tubuhmu terluka parah .. kita masih bisa berusaha mengobatinya, bukan? dan bukankah ledakan bom itu BUKAN maumu?
..seseorang yang buta-bisu-tuli-dan-cacat-mental pun tetap dapat hidup. "luka-luka" tersebut tidak mengakhiri hidupnya. intinya adalah .. sebanyak apapun kegagalan yang pernah kita alami, bukan berarti kegagalan-kegagalan tersebut mengakhiri hidup kita. selama kita masih memiliki niat dan usaha keras untuk mewujudkan, selama itu pula kita bisa menang terhadap kegagalan kita.
failure is NEVER an end.
bahkan jika kamu berargumentasi .. "orang yang gagal jantung bisa menyebabkan kematian", kamu seolah melupakan fakta bahwa kegagalan itu BUKANLAH maunya! dia memang mengalami kegagalan. dia memang -- akhirnya -- wafat. tapi hidupnya akan selalu dikenang oleh orang-orang di sekitarnya. dan itu BUKANLAH sebuah kegagalan, sayang ..
kegagalan tidak pernah mengakhiri hidup kita. kegagalan tidak pernah membunuh kita. kemauan kitalah yang menyeret kita pasrah lalu menyerah, atau berontak dan mencari jalan keluar lainnya. kegagalan tidak pernah menjadi akhir dari segalanya. jangan biarkan satu kegagalan mengakhiri segala hidup kita ..
jadi mungkin kamu gagal dalam studi .. so what?! let it go! learn a new!
jadi mungkin kamu gagal dalam percintaan .. so what?! let it go! find a new love!
jadi mungkin kamu gagal dalam kehidupan rumah tangga mu .. so what?! let it go! plan a new!
jadi mungkin kamu gagal dalam karier .. so what?! let it go! make a new one!
lihatlah ..
kegagalan-kegagalan itu hanya bagian-bagian kecil dari keseluruhan bagian dalam hidup kita. dan bagian-bagian hidup kita sangat amat besarnya untuk dibandingkan dengan kegagalan yang kita alami.
jika satu ranting dalam pohon patah, maka masih banyak ranting lainnya yang tumbuh berkembang menghasilkan banyak buah. jika satu bagian dari hidup kita gagal, kita masih punya banyak bagian lain yang bisa kita andalkan.
dan jangan kamu kira kegagalan tidak pernah hadir dalam hidup saya. saya juga manusia biasa (walaupun kamu lebih mengenal saya sebagai "vampire") yang pernah mengalami kegagalan. tapi saya tidak pernah membiarkan kegagalan meruntuhkan apa yang saya angankan. kegagalan hanya catatan, untuk saya pelajari agar kelak saya tidak terjatuh lagi ke dalamnya. mungkin, catatan saya belum terlalu banyak. tapi saya dengan senang hati meminjamkannya padamu, agar kita bisa sama belajar ..
don't let failure ends your life. it's NEVER an ending. it's NEVER the end.
so, some times we failed. okay. so what? we have so much more strength to deal with it.
let's beat it. we are so much better than we think we are. failure is nothing compared to our lifes.
[and i'll be on beside you whenever you need ..]
posted by me at 8:14 PM
Hellow .. :)
HELLOW.. :)so this is my new layout, thank you very, very, very much to lovely darilangit!
we designed it from scratch to eye catch! i like it. i love it. it's better than previous one. times 9. i think. no. i'm serious. i love it. heaheaheaaa ..
i've put some new links, working with commenting system (yes! now i knew my user name and password, thanks to you, pals!), and changing the whole themes into a new one.
"hellow .."
that simple word, to my amaze, actually could lead you into everything new and even unpredictable. a "hellow" [the exact word is: hello] connects us to what surrounding. it starts the conversation: over the phone, or with persons around us, or even people that just passes us by.
it was also the last game we played with my bro -- while he's here -- saying "hello" to any strangers, and getting to get closer with them in just a matter of few minutes. of course, i lost that game -- since i'm not good at chitchatting with strangers. but he succeded. he made friends with approximately 18 new totally strangers within 3 minutes. and me? .. only one, in last few seconds. haha!
okay, so i admit, i'm lousy at saying "hellow". and that's the reason why i chose this theme for my new lay out .. [thanks to darilangit]. i want to learn to easily saying "hellow" and getting to know each other better ..
it took us 5 non-stop hours to discuss about the new themes, starting from listing what i wanted to be put in and ended up with this whole new lay out. and he also redesign the commenting system to be looked alike the main page. thank you. you're the best, darilangit! :)
umm ..
okay, i think i'm starting to repeat my entry over and over and over and over again. now, before you get bored, i believe i should stop here and continue my healing time. (yes, buddy. i'm not feeling well these couple days. i had headache and cold and trembling but doctor said i'll be fine in a week or so. so .. i took a whole week off, and just resting and relaxing at home. and it's almost a week now and instead of getting well, i'm degrading to worse than ever. what on earth is happening to me?)
and .. oh yeah,
enjoy the pics! :)
the only thing that does not humor me is that .. my pics are showed off in a way like this. so soon enough, i'll be ripping off those pics. it's sooo NOT me. -- well, at least NOT me NOW .. i'm much much much prettier, sexier, and wiser than what it seems. :)
[those pics taken few years ago and my glasses look pretty bad. it's gross!]
kodja, will you do me a favor, please, honey? :)
until then, ..enjoy!
i say HELLOW..
i'm expecting you to FOLLOW me to say HELLOW..
the sky turns to YELLOW but please don't be MELLOW.
let's dance with me, you FINE FELLOW!
*whooa, i love the way it rhymes! haha..*
posted by me at 5:41 PM
[with the deepest condolence]
shocking. stunning. terrifying..
with the deepest condolense..
*i'm speechless*
i.really.am.sorry.
posted by me at 12:04 AM
Wonderful Goodbye ..
[so, he went..]Pak Dam went for about 3 weeks from now. to Makkah. this (past) sunday evening.
his sons, daugther, inlaws and all their families and relatives were gathered together since friday, and i have no idea whatsoever how this thing could be so emotional. anyway, .. as always, i chose NOT to be there when any kind of "goodbye" things are upfront. and i guess, it just because Pak Dam knew me well enough, he himself lead his kids and inlaws and grandchildren outside..
so i told him, it's perfectly okay for me. i could understand it perfectly. and do not mind at all. they can use anything he uses. they can do anything he usualy does here.
we ran out of beds and blankets, but Tania managed to borrow some sleeping bags from her bf. we turned our living room into a huge dormitory: we could have 15 adults and 5 kids sleep here. while Pak Dam's room could filled up to 2 adults and 8 kids altogether.
they cooked very nice traditional recipes and helping me a lot by organizing their needs themselves. on saturday, we had a BBQ farewell dinner, and Pak Dam showed me his speciality: making "Sate Madura". :)
i felt like .. i was a bad, bad, bad host.
i didn't even know that they'll have a big farewell with him. i never knew the custom. i am sorry. i really am. if i knew it earlier, i would've prepared anything. oh, i am sooo embarrased.
anyway,
at dawn on sunday, Pak Dam came to my room and .. said something .. i could not write it here. but it was .. so damn wonderful that i thought i might not forget it ever. then .. he stood stil. i thought he was waiting for me to say something ..
oh my God!
i didn't have anything to say. i didn't have anything at all at my mind at that time. then .. out of the blue, my tears fell. i could not stand it. then he hugged me.
i guess he knew me well enough.
after that hug, he shook my hand, and in his javanesse-tounge-deep-accent, he said:
"till we meet again, you little missy!"
i was stunned. and started to laugh. ohmaigat! i laugh. (thank you, Pak Dam! yes, till we meet again! hahaha..)
*break*
i left the house at 6 a.m.
actually, i don't have any clue where to go or what to do. i'm just not good at goodbyes and as always .. i chose NOT to have goodbye moments. so i went. but me and tania managed to rent some cars at the last minute last night to take their whole families to the airport. at least, that's all i can do.
i called my bestfriend to take me around and he said yes. and all that matters now is how to erase the mellow memories today. oh, boy .. we went crazy and going around with no set destination. (you can read about that here)
we came back at 1 a.m. (today, monday).. and look what i found: every single dishes, bowls, glasses, spoons and forks are washed and set. all mattress, rugs, sleeping bags, blankets and sarongs are nicely folded and set. the room is clean and bcak to normal: my living room. and last but not least: traditional dinner served nicely at the dining room. another sate madura and stuff.
they really are nice people.
i really am a bad host.
(and now this house is really empty. and i miss those nice people.)
could anyone telling me, please .. is it custom to throw down a welcoming party for anyone who's back from "umroh"? if it is, then, could anyone please giving me any suggestions what it would be like? i really want to change my impression. i'd love to invite them all back again, having a welcoming party or something for him, if it is possible, and i won't fail anymore.
(i'll be a goddamn host .. oh yes i will.)
..please.. ?
posted by me at 5:07 AM